Straight from the DMs… is this week’s topic of convo! In my opinion, theres never been a more relevant time to address this topic.
You guys have heard me say this multiple times- but negativity is toxic. And when its coming from someone else, you have to arm yourself with the knowledge that you cannot control other people unfortunately. That doesn’t mean you cant do something about it, but you certainly cannot control how someone else acts and lives their life.
Theres no one right answer. But, I think a good place to start would be to develop a strong sense of self. To develop an inner dialogue with yourself that helps you stand strong in your own truth. Ask yourself when something someone says rubs you the wrong way- what is the intention behind this comment, person, situation? Are they telling it to me bc they care about my growth and well-being? Are they looking out for me? Are they just trying to get a response out me? Maybe they are just straight up miserable in their own life?
Not every piece of information you hear is going to contribute to your growth and well-being. Id like to think most people do mean well- but there are quite a few peeps out there who are just miserable in their own lives. The worst thing you could do is let their misery bring you down to their level, as well. I do this thing unconsciously bc it makes me happy (idk if its an evil happy or a genuine happy) but when someone comes at me from a negative angle, I make sure to be the most positive and optimistic person, almost annoyingly, to them as a follow up. I turn the negative comment into a positive and start talking about something that makes me happy. Partly I do this bc I am generally pretty comfortable the skeleton parts of myself and my insecurities bc I know they exist, and partly because when I acknowledge the insecure parts of me and accept them, no one else can hold power over me. Im sure theres a more eloquent way of explaning this, but ive found that being ok with the parts of yourself you are working to improve prevents other people from poking fun at them in a way that disrupts your peace. Self acceptance is the healthiest way I know to handle negativity.
The second way I dodge negative bullets is a hold meaning to everything in my life. My relationships, my work, my hobbies, my habits, my thoughts, they all hold deep meaning. And when someone doesn’t understand why I do the things I do, I am rooted in my why. I almost didn’t even want to include this bc I hate the phrase “find your why” bc its too general and overused, but heres an example to bring it to life…
The third way I handle negative people is distance myself whenever possible. I know sometimes negative people are the ones closest to you so it wouldn’t be realistic to remove them from your life, but you can choose what to discuss with them and what not to.
Negative people don’t always mean their words with a nasty intention, but either way its not okay for it to hold more power than your own. Give yourself enough credit for the things that make you happy to be alive, because no one else has to go to bed with the consquences of the decisions you make. Ive learned throughout my life that its okay if not everyone understands you and your decisions- in fact, it probably means you stand for something great if that’s the case.
And if you find yourself in this place of self judgement, imagine me explaining to 70 year olds that I don’t eat meat, I wear ripped jeans on most occasions, my job is to make youtube videos, and that the only way I know how to make healthy choices is to write in a habit tracker…. It doesn’t usually end well. LOL.
Theres no one right way to navigate negativity, but the best thing I believe we can do is talk to ourselves when someone’s opinion makes an uncomfortable entrance into our minds. Its an ongoing battle that we constantly have to coach ourselves through, but the next time a comment flys your way, remind yourself that the person who said the comment probably isn’t as happy as you are, that they are forgetting about your existence after the comment is said and 99% of the time following, and that its truly none of their business.