Sometimes, life gets busy and I get so wrapped up in work that I literally forget what day it is. I forget that a life worth living is one rich in relationships, people, and connection. Sometimes theres nothing that reminds us of this more than a frantic phone call, a friend in crisis, a health scare, or even a death.
Most of us live each day as though everything is fine and that things will always stay the same as they have for our entire lives. And then one day, one moment truly changes things. We revert back to the basics, usually starting with calming our breath. We ask the questions per protocol, we run through the steps in our head, and if we’re lucky, we have someone who is much more level headed around during these moments that feel like snap shots of a movie or someone else’s life. Surely, not ours.
We ask ourselves how we got here. Was it a freak accident? Something I didn’t take seriously until it hit rock bottom? Why me? Why was this problem supposed to fall into MY life timeline? I do everything right. I’m a good person. I don’t deserve this.
How I calm my mind
What happens once the novelty wears off? Once things calm down? Well, then you’re alone with your thoughts… sometimes an even scarier environment. Personally I turn to Oprah and her supersoul sessions. I re-read super attractor by gabby Bernstein, I sit in silence, and I give gratitude for those close to me who reach out and check on me. Something that I don’t actually do, which has been extremely helpful, is listen to what other people have to say about the situation. Generally, people are kind and gentle when you’re struggling. Sometimes people are forward and opinionated, but taking a step back to ask their intention vs taking what they say to heart is the key- because the intention is usually good, even if the delivery comes across the wrong way.
Typically, people respond to situations in the way that they’d want support should they be in your shoes. Having a self worth and a truth that is unshakeable is the key foundation to not letting opinions sway you one way or another.
Remind yourself, gently, that this is a season. Things happen, and in the middle of it, it feels like chaos. Like your heart is in your throat every 5 seconds and you’re just trying to catch your breath. A logical decision would be the best case scenario, but many people just don’t operate on a logical decision making level because the brain is a powerful thing- I wish I had the answer for that one. But bottom line, this isn’t going to last. And thinking negative won’t get you to the end any faster or more productively. To the part where everything is okay and the clouds part and you feel a sort of lightness in your body.
The weight of your problems is only as heavy as you decide it should be.Let me say that again for the people in the back- you can deal with some heavy…stuff… and carry on about your day still looking for the good. You can deal with problems and trauma and hurt and anger and still be a good person in the process by not projecting it onto a person. But instead in a form of expression- why do you think I write so much?
Helpful tips to keep composure during stress
Finding an outlet of expression means dealing with hard things in a healthy way, which is a hell of a good place to start. Take some time to remove yourself out of the situation- literally leave your location if those 4 walls are triggers. You’re not running away from your problems, you’re being the bigger person by taking time to sort out your thoughts in a rational way vs staying in a toxic environment, even if it’s momentarily or situation dependent. You will come back refreshed and ready to make decision in a healthy light.
Books: The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, What I know for sure by Oprah Winfrey, and Super Attracter by Gabby Bernstein.
Comedy: The Big Bang Theory, Sebastian Maniscalco
Moving my body: a walk, activating my core, or anything that gets fresh oxygen to my brain
Eating well: I try to eat foods low in glycemic index and carbs to avoid blood sugar spikes. When I eat junk food while not feeling my best mentally or physically, I am useless. I’m negative, crabby, cant think clear, and nothing good ever comes of this.
The key to getting through hard times or seasons of change is to know that it will not last. Get into survival mode and make decisions from your gut not your head, eat well, make sure your joints are stretched and mobile, get an outlet to express yourself in, and keep clear focus on the fact that once this is over, things will calm and down and go back to a new normal. Things WILL work out- write it down in your journal if you need a visual reminder!